Fossil Girl

William G.T. Shedd

Maya Angelou

Cast On Baby!
This made my day, Knitters (& Crocheters) really do rock!!

Another Interweave Publication that I love; it’s a little ‘trendier’ than Interweave Knits but has the same great and innovative designs that IK has. This issue of Knitscene is spectacular.

Rizzed Raglan

Non so innovative but oh so classic and stylish.

Kennedy Sweater

I love cables, not so keen on the neck but that’s changeable.

Agnes Pullover

A very classic, wearable sweater.

Margot Pullover

A comfy, cosy weekend sweater, love it!

Frances Cardigan

Just love it, oh the colour combos to be had!! Brown with pink, grey with purple, navy with red….

Serpentine Hat

Just amazing.

Nocturnal Pullover

I love owls and owl motifs, this is simple and beautiful.

Huntress Shawl

How cool is this?!?! 

Bear in mind these are just my highlights!! It’s a good time to have my knitting mojo back!!

Dr. Seuss

My Mojo Has RETURNED!!!!

I’ve now been three weeks without Citalopram (aka Celexa) after taking it for two and a half years; the effects have been interesting. Firstly, I should explain why I have been taking them for so long. I have a history (even at 27) of depression and when I realised I hated my teaching job so much that I couldn’t do another lesson in January ‘10 and went into crisis mode, I was put back onto anti-depressants - ‘just-in-case’. I’m not sure now I really needed them, I knew how to ‘fix’ the problem - get another job; I even knew what job I wanted (teaching assistant) but the drugs make it a little easier to cope with the drama. 

Now I have a job I love but the Citalopram was increasing the frequency of my migraines, which I didn’t need and it didn’t look good taking time off in my new job. I also discovered that it was slowing my metabolism down whilst increasing my appetite, explaining (partly, at least) why my weight had exploded. So, started decreasing my dosage and a little over three weeks ago I took my last half-pill. It’s not been fun and games since, the withdrawal effects have ruined most of my summer break so far but the physical symptoms are declining and I’m left evaluating how different life is without the drug.

My appetite is normal now, I crave fresh rather than processed foods more often now and I have less inclination to eat for the sake of it. I feel a much wider range of emotions and to greater extremities; I have mixed feelings about this…

The anti-depressant acts like a buffer of sorts, it keeps your feelings in the ‘neutral zone’, you are always ‘okay’, you can cope. Removing this buffer means I’m being sensitised to lots of things that might have just passed me by in the ‘neutral zone’. It takes nothing to make me teary these days; with the Olympics being on I’ve had a constant lump in my throat!! I’m so much more sensitive about myself, about my appearance, about how people think of me, about how I might be a failure, about a lot of things which just aren’t good. In the ’neutral zone’ my self-esteem had bubble wrap to keep it intact and now there isn’t any and people keep walking into it and I keep dropping it. 

Without my buffer life is harder, far more uncomfortable and confusing; the temptation to return to the ‘neutral zone’ is a lot stronger than I expected. It is definitely easier in the ‘neutral zone’ but I will miss out on things in the ‘positive zone’ as well as the ‘negative zone’. I’m sure I’ve missed out on a lot of life in the ‘neutral zone’; I’d like a few excursions to the ‘positive zone’.

I just have to find a way to spend less time in the ‘negative zone’; if I can do this I’ll be good because the ‘negative zone’ is a horrible place to be. People hate me (most people), I hate me, I’m a failure, a waste of space, I’m unloveable, unlikeable in the ‘negative zone’. It’s been a while since I’ve spent much time there but lately I’m a frequent flyer and it’s a lonely place. It’s not a place anyone should have to be in for long. 

This experience has really clarified for my how anti-depressants are only a band-aid, they solve nothing. They just stem the flow of unhappiness and anxiety so you can deal with the underlying ‘injury’. It’s criminal how millions in the UK are prescribed these drugs as a false cure because it’s cheaper than real cures (e.g. CBT, counselling). My doctor sucks so I too have to find a way to fix myself on my own. 

People don’t like talking about depression (including many of those who have or have had it), I know this from years of experience, sometimes even people who love you can’t cope with it. Here is one way of talking to those who don’t always want to or know how to listen, the internet can be a wonderful thing.

The blues…

My favourite knit publisher! I love IK, it (and its spin-offs, including Knitscene) produces the best published knitwear. I was so excited by the arrival of the Fall issue, I don’t even look at the previews - I will buy IK sight unseen. It’s arrival at Get Knitted (where I order all of my magazines) coincided with me buying an iPad and I was debating whether to buy it digitally or in hardcopy; the multitude of digital formats bamboozled me slightly (what was the best way to get it?!?!) and so I got a hardcopy until I decided on the best way to go. I will end up going digital I suspect, it’s cheaper and it takes up much less space - I have a huge stack of IKs already. Also, the paper quality of the magazines has deteriorated rapidly which hasn’t impressed me and makes me less inclined to want to hoarde them. 

Anyway, back to the issue. It didn’t disappoint, some beautiful patterns and innovative design. Here are my highlights. 

Petit Four Pullover

I gasped when I saw this, stunning design. 

Blooming Forest Pullover

Such a perfect cozy weekend sweater. 

Sazerac Pulover

I love this, especially the colour combo and the fact that both the yarns used are easily obtainable in the UK (Rowan).

Roam Tunic

If I could work out how to change the neck to a cowl structure I’d be knitting this NOW!!

Cornflower Cardigan

I would knit this with a brown background, I still need to tackle colour knitting.

Pluie Cardigan

Just too cute for words…

Jon’s Sweater

Okay, not for me but it does makes me yearn for a man to knit for…

I bought my copy from Get Knitted, they offer free delivery over £10, always have the best magazines in stock (they often let you pre-order items to save stalking) and have great customer service. Interweave sell a PDF version of the magazine, ZInio sell a digital version and there is an IK app. 

Living in the Moment
Jason Mraz

This was the first of the Nails Inc Special Effects collection I tried. I couldn’t find another colour I wanted to wear it with and the thought of removing 10 full nails of glitter made me feel ill so I decided to have a go at glitter tips.

I used french tip guides and applied three coats of glitter. The glitter is quite dense, a lovely combo of pink/purple and silver glitter and applies without any issues. Three coats gave full coverage. The only problem I had was that it was very difficult to get my camera to focus on the glitter!!